Script Review

[railfan101 0]

This might not fit here, and I apologize if it doesn't, but I have a special request.  I am in the process of building a game with a long since built idea which I've turned into what I believe to be the best rendition I could think of.  I have a script (meaning screenplay, not a ruby script) finished for the main story, and I wish to request someone proofread it.  

 

I am basically looking for the following:

 

Does the screenplay make sense?

 

Do I describe my world well enough that you are not left scratching your head?

 

Is it easy to follow?

 

I'm trying to achieve a rich history with potential for multiple games within the universe I've made.  Does anyone wish to proofread my script?

[zahraa 26]

Hmm it sounds interesting. I like to give it a try but my school is about to start and I won't have much time. Anyway feel free to send it for me, I'll gladly check it when I have some free time :)

[Ardaceus 21]

I also have time on my hand when I'm not having a game making session, so I could read it and give a critique on the script if you would send it to me.

[railfan101 0]

sounds good.  I will send both of you a link to download it via pm.  I ask that you please not share the link with anyone else.

[Ardaceus 21]

Done my review, looks to be a pretty great short RPG, not a must play, but definitely enjoyable by the script for the game.

 

If made a game available on GDU, I would suggest to people who don't know much about game design and/or character design to try it, for it has pretty good of both by the looks of it.

[railfan101 0]

I'm posting here again because my current proofreader has been busy (school i think).  I'm just asking if anyone could proofread my script for my game?  I have a new version written, and after it's been proofread, serious production can begin on my game.