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EmilyAnnCoons

Help me

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So...I really have no idea what to say...I'm lonely and depressed...I'm getting ready to move back with my parents, because my sister will be needing the room I am staying in for her baby in about a month. As many of you probably already know, being around my parents causes a depression in me...this is due to the fact that they don't believe I'm a girl.

 

I've been considering for some time now just saying "fuck it" and starting to transition, whether my parents like it or not...but when I started thinking that, work started cutting my hours...all-in-all, I just can't afford to. Regardless, with how my parents have been acting the last month, I have come to realize that, if I moved out, I'd be getting as much financial support then from my parents as I am now...after all...when work is paying $100 every 2 weeks due to low hours, and $300 of bills every 2 weeks, you'd think the parents would say "Hey, I know you can't afford it, so we'll step in and help out." Instead, Mom and Dad just say "Oh well" and do nothing.

 

I went to the doctor's the other day, actually, because my back has been in SEVERE pain the last few weeks. When I went in to see him, he wrote me up a prescription and sent me on my way. Now, from what I'd gather, this medicine will cost around $100 MAX...problem is, I don't have $100 to spend on medicine for my back. When I confronted Mom and Dad about it, they said "We'll see what happens" and then, by the time we got home, I could tell that Dad had no interest in helping me pay for the medicine or the doctor bill.

 

Basically, I'm royally screwed over right now. I need a job that will actually give me some hours to work. If McDonalds is going to keep giving me so little hours (about 10 per week) I am going to HAVE to move on. The problem is: Where do I move on to? Where could I find a place to work that will accept a girl in a guy's body with only a high school education? You'd think my Valedictorian status (GPA 4.0) would mean something in the real world...so far, it hasn't. It hasn't gotten me any closer to going to college, it hasn't gotten me any closer to a better job, it hasn't done anything.

 

So, at the moment, all I know is that I am royally screwed over, and am getting no financial support from my parents. Now, you say "They pay the heating, electricity, and food bills, though, right?" Yes, that's true. If I moved out, I'd have to pay the heating and electric bill myself...on top of that a rent bill as well...but food...they never cook anything good...it's no wonder I'm always hungry and way 106 lbs...I never get to eat much of anything because they cook crap...

 

Now, my sister and her husband are living with my parents as well. What I find is stupid is that they let them do whatever they want. They don't have to follow by any rules, while I'm stuck with so many rules on my head, I can barely do anything...I get yelled at for the thought of being trans-sexual, even though everything I know says that trans-sexuality is caused at birth, and no amount of denial can fix it...which is what my parents want me to do...deny it exists...

 

All-in-all, I'm getting tired of it. Thoughts of suicide are always running through my mind now, but I'll never act on them. I know killing myself wouldn't fix anything, so I never will. I need help...I really do. I'm an emotional wreck, and if I don't see someone to fix it soon, I could just die from it...I'm not saying I will, but I've heard it is possible...I haven't given up on life...not at all...I want to live, that's for sure...but I've given up on caring I guess...I don't really know...I just know I'm ready to cry, but can't. So...if anyone can help me...please...I need someone to be there for me...if I stay this way...I don't know what will happen...but I just can't stop these feelings...

 

Please help me...I really need help...

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I....I really wish I could help. I'd like to be able to say, or do something that would help solve your problem, but I have to admit, you're in a pickle. A new job is an obvious must, but you make it sound like you live in a place where trans-sexuality is intolerable in the work place, and I find it sad that places like that still exist. I'm not familiar enough with the people involved in this problem (including yourself) or the condition of the area you live in to be of any real use.

 

I hope that you're at least comforted in knowing that someone wants to help.

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I pretty much agree with what Maph said. As far as McDonald's cutting hours, I know how that is they've been cutting my lately to and it pisses me off. I went from about 35 hours to 20 hours a week. As far as suicide is concerned, your right it won't help anything.

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Well, it's nice to know people do care -nods- Oh, and just so you know, I deleted the second post by Wyzrd...I'm not sure what happened (internet failure, computer failure, hitting the button twice, etc.) but he accidentally double posted (at least, I hope it was accidental).

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Lol, I'm sorry if it double posted and I didn't catch it, internet has been stupid lately.

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