Black Moon (Prophecy)

[rgangsta 43]

O.o I can help with that. I eat cliches for breakfast.

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Cool! Thanks so much guys, you are the best!

 

Sometimes though, aren't cliches nice? I sorta find some cliches too be really nifty in a story, but then again, I've never done this before, so maybe following more experienced users will help me. :sweatdrop:

[rgangsta 43]

I guess cliches can be nice but I like to rid my game of cliches. I want the player to be blindsided when something new comes into the story.

[Enigma 10]

Cliches are fine, but its better to put a twist on a Cliche for a Massive Combo :alright:

Cliches bore people and make them expect things about your game

This is sometimes allows you to slap em in the face with something they didn't see coming

 

If you ever use cliches adding twists keeps it fresh

 

Look at Blizzards Sir Lag a lot game

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Alright then, I hope I can count on you two when the time comes! :alright: As I thanks, I need a few more (three actually) boss names and descriptions of them (by descriptions, I mean attack powers, their limited magic, weakness; things like that)...maybe you guys can pick them out? :)

 

Blizard's Sir Lag? Link?

[Enigma 10]

Chronicles of Sir Lag a lot

Here you go

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Downloading now: so to be sure, this will help me add twists to my cliches? Or just twists? :D

[rgangsta 43]

I need to play this game too. Cliches, here I come!

 

And Chowder was right, Crimson. :P

[Enigma 10]

I would say both, the story itself is so interesting because its satire(making fun of) on both the internet and generic storylines

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Then it should help me make my game and story a lot more believable, correct? Then I'll be sure to play it this Sunday when I get the Home PC! :biggrin_002:

 

Thank you guys, for helping me with my project, it means a lot to me. *huggles*

[rgangsta 43]

We're here to help. Anything else you need, let us know. I can help with graphics too if you want. :P

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Thanks Rgangsta and Enigma! I'm definitely gonna add you guys to the game, you guys are the bomb! No what, I'm gonna find a place for all my friends. I'm sure I can fit you guys in as NPCs, bosses, help, friends or even foes! I think that would be nifty to add the people who have helped me with real life issues, who have become my friends and who have helped helped me in the world of RPGers, to the game! :yes:

[rgangsta 43]

I want to be a foe! :P Bad guys always get the cool stuff because they're the top dog.

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Finished the first portion of the Storyboard! I think its a good point to stop for a demo length. How long are demos anyways?

Now all I need to do is gather graphics and I can start on making the demo. :alright:

 

@Rgangsta:

I think I have a sprite for you!

 

@Enigma:

If you want to be added to the game, please tell me: friend foe, descriptions and things like that. You can PM if you want, it might be easier. ;)

 

*gets to spriting and googling*

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Update! The girl's sprite is finished! Finally!

 

 

 

(Her outfit might change color only though, so... :P)

 

 

 

So, I have written down the story board to a point where its pretty far! All that's left is mapping out the areas and making it! I have a few maps done, which is really exciting! I can't wait!

 

Since the girl is finished for now, everything is in place unless I come across a tileset I need, which I think is unlikely...but still, its getting close! Now I just got to get a sprite for Rgangsta and Enigma's character and bam! Demo starts!

 

Well, that's all for now! I can't wait to give you guys screenshots! Oh what the heck, here is a screenshot of one of the maps! Its probably not good though xD

 

 

[FranklinX 37]

Your map is a bit empty. Add more objects and design to the map. I'm sure it will turn out great! :alright:

[CrimsonInferno 35]

I shouldn't probably make it bigger as well, a bit I mean. There has to be room for beasts :)

Believe it nor, this is what it turned out as first try xD Looking back at it, I know its horrible! lol

 

Its a nesting cliff for some beasts, or was supposed to be....alright, I'll work on it again. All my maps need major work :(

 

Thanks for commenting, Rated! :biggrin_002:

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Update! Thought I should share the "clean" version of the Lower World Map. Since there was no World Map tilesets available that worked, I came across Inquisitors Tileset, which is nice, I suppose. I can't help but feel like the mountains and trees were ripped off of FF6 though...

 

Oh well! I also tried to customize it a bit with a lake autotile :>

World Map (Lower World)

 

 

 

Now I still have to work on the botton pieces of the world map (parts that connects to the water) and the shallow water around the land masses and then add the village tilesets onto it, but that's all. This is how it will basically look :>

 

What do you guys think? :D

Edited November 24, 2010 by CrimsonInferno

[joman195 9]

Looks good.

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Thanks so much, Joman! :3

 

What about the lake...? Do you think it looks good? Would you need the autotile to test it? :P

[Arkbennett 16]

Well first off Crimson, let me tell you this is the first project I actually bothered to sit down and read the initial post in a long time. Usually when I read a project thread I suffer a terrible attention span and tend to tl;dr shit.

But, I like you - as a user. So I thought I would give it a shot.

 

Forgive me if I repeat anything Enigma or RGangster read. They were skimmed... Okay, that is a lie, I did not bother to read their reply posts.

 

Okay, your rough sketch of the story confused me at first, but I think I got it.

But will interpret in my own words:

 

"The Lower Lands, Almar once lived at peace with the Air Kingdom (Where powerful Sky Beasts live). That is until the age(?) of the Black Moon came.."

 

Okay, you are calling it an Age, which I interpret some type of technological advancement allowed the Sky Kingdom to control these beasts and gain a significant military edge over Almar.

 

"The prophecy tells of a person only known as the 'Muse', who will ascend to the Sky Kingdom. If this happens, the Black Moon will rain fire and death upon the Lower Lands."

 

Now the Black Moon is an actually thing, no longer an age. I understand for historical sake why you would call it the Age of the Black Moon, but I think you should have presented it just as the Black Moon.

 

"The Almarians believe that if they sacrifice (Shouldn't this be killed..?) the Muse, the Sky Kingdom will see this Prophecy as false and stop it's siege of the Lower Lands. So, Almar sends a young man to find the 'Muse' and stop this Prophecy.

 

To be honest Crimson, the story is a little nonsensical. I pose these questions:

-Where did the Black Moon come from?

-They Sky Kingdom already appears to be winning the war.

-The Sky Kingdom controls a hoard of beasts. Who cares if the prophecy is satisfied or not?

-If the prophecy were interrupted, why should the Sky Kingdom stop their rampage?

-Why should the Muse be sacrificed? Is their a difference between sacrificed and murdered?

-Why did the Sky Kingdom attack in the first place? I mean, there shouldn't be an issue of land or anything.

 

Oh, and the plot reminds me of Avatar the Air Bender.. Heavily.

And you need to spice up your maps more and rework the world map.

 

 

 

People tend to be sensitive about these subjects, so I want to remind you that this is friend criticism and strictly my opinion. If I did not already respect you, I would have never bothered reply to this subject.

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Good questions! I was hoping to update the first post with more information (sorry I was confusing xD) with a "more detailed" and coherent summary. This was originally under a "what do you guys think/help me improve" situation and then I built off of it.

 

"The Lower Lands, Almar once lived at peace with the Air Kingdom (Where powerful Sky Beasts live). That is until the age(?) of the Black Moon came.."

 

Okay, you are calling it an Age, which I interpret some type of technological advancement allowed the Sky Kingdom to control these beasts and gain a significant military edge over Almar.

 

Its an "age" because of what happens when the Black Moon (fully)appears in the sky. I should have gone into detail about that, but I didn't want to spoil anything. See, when the Black Moon appears, black flames will engulf and destroy everything.

 

"The prophecy tells of a person only known as the 'Muse', who will ascend to the Sky Kingdom. If this happens, the Black Moon will rain fire and death upon the Lower Lands."

 

Now the Black Moon is an actually thing, no longer an age. I understand for historical sake why you would call it the Age of the Black Moon, but I think you should have presented it just as the Black Moon.

The Black Moon is just a "black moon". Yea, I'm definitely gonna edit the main post after this. Anyway, the world has "2" moons. One that stays there like Earth's Moon, and then another Moon on the other side of the planet, which is known as the Black Moon. Its a massive sized "black" moon with well, magical powers.

 

"The Almarians believe that if they sacrifice (Shouldn't this be killed..?) the Muse, the Sky Kingdom will see this Prophecy as false and stop it's siege of the Lower Lands. So, Almar sends a young man to find the 'Muse' and stop this Prophecy.

Yes, it was meant to be "killed" xD But the Almarians believe that if they "sacrifice" the Muse to the Sky Kingdom, then they (the Sky Kingdom) won't rain hell down on the Lower World (as the Muse only appears on the Lower World) looking for her to "stop" her and her great powers.

 

-Where did the Black Moon come from?

-They Sky Kingdom already appears to be winning the war.

-The Sky Kingdom controls a hoard of beasts. Who cares if the prophecy is satisfied or not?

-If the prophecy were interrupted, why should the Sky Kingdom stop their rampage?

-Why should the Muse be sacrificed? Is their a difference between sacrificed and murdered?

-Why did the Sky Kingdom attack in the first place? I mean, there shouldn't be an issue of land or anything.

1: Its another moon, its history will be revealed in the game :) (secret)

2: The beasts are used as a tool (its better explained in the game, as it will give spoilers away if I say anything), the Muse is much more powerful than them or anything else in their world. Its like the Sky Kingdom is thinking "Why do they get to have all that power?" and then if they kill the Muse, it will result in equal if not lower power, to the Lower World.

3: Because the Sky Kingdom is only searching for the Muse, and the Lower World thinks if they kill the Muse, they will stop their rain on them.

4: Sacrificed/Murder is the same thing to the Lower World, "sacrifice" because they are "giving" her life up to the Sky kingdom to save themselves, so I thought that term was better to suit the situation...

5: Because the Lower World holds the most powerful being in their world. :)

 

I can't seem to form better summaries without giving a point away in the plot. That, and I'm terrible at summaries. (anyone want to help?)

 

I wish I could make the world map look better, but the only tileset I have only allows "square" tiles to be place. :( I'll keep updating it though, but mostly from (See Edgar's profile on the first page) using the excuse of the Sky Kingdom's top generals, being assassinated while down in the Lower World. This ignited a "fight" from between the worlds, but it was the Muse's appearance and the legend about her, that fully fledged the war. :>

 

I got loads of inspiration, surprisingly, from Chrono Trigger and yup, Avatar the Last Airbender (they are different though, promise). But it was a novel I've been working on for a while, and I wanted to see how it comes out as a game. :>

Edited November 25, 2010 by CrimsonInferno

[Arkbennett 16]

Okay. I will accept those answers.

I thought there were other minor details bothering me, but my brain does not seem to care to remember them.

 

Oh well, they were minor.

I hope the project is coming along well, I was hoping to come read your topic for a little inspiration.

I'm not sure if I have or not, I am a little frustrated; I lost an entire journal of notes during a move it seems. =(

[CrimsonInferno 35]

There is a lot more behind it, but I think the players would rather play and get the points and what happens. But thank you so much for commenting, Arkbennett! I'm gonna work on a better summary for the thread though, it is confusing and it does need loads of improvement!

 

I'll start on a better summary now :D

 

The project is coming along nicely. I will have to edit a bit here and there, but overall, great. I was hoping to find a tile that goes with the one I used for the Overworld map that makes the land less square, but I couldn't find one :(

 

I think my number one issue, is mapping. I'm terrible at it, and I can't seem to figure out how make my mapping better and I keep forgetting what belongs on which layer xD

[Arkbennett 16]

I am glad that the game production is going good enough. I look forward to reading that summary.

As far as learning how to map better goes, all I can suggest is either read some mapping Tuts, like Kirashi's (He did do some, yes?) or just do what I did, and play other people's games, and observe how they did their mapping, especially if they did not encrypt their game.

[CrimsonInferno 35]

I've been reading mapping tutorials like made for the pass few days. So far I went from square and boring, to something a little better (?). Now I still have to mess with the walls, as I was pointed out I made them 3 tiles long as well as the little hill in the middle of the map xD So I'll fix that, but that's how far I've come along, which is must I suppose, but its something. :>

 

I can't tell if my summary is too revealing or too long :D I'll keep at it though...

 

EDIT:

Does this summary make any more sense? I'm having a bit of trouble making it xD

 

 

 

Long before the day the Sky Kingdom known as Alzar began war upon the Lower Land known as Almar, there once lived a powerful prophecy of an incredible powerful mage known as the Muse, born with powers said were made to destroy Worlds in the flames of the Black Moon, but the appearance of the Muse hasn’t been seen in over three hundreds, leaving the world ignorant of the true Prophecy and the Legends, and only now does the worlds learn of the powers of the Muse and the Black Moon that surrounds their planet.

 

Hearing of the Prophecy before the war, King Nicole and the Ambassador gathered information regarding the Muse and the Prophecy, but while their sergeants gathered information about the Prophecy in Almar’s greatest city, they and the fleet’s generals are mysteriously assassinated.

 

With the new bloodshed between them, King Nicole called for war against them for purposely keeping the Muse and her power hidden and for the assassination of nobles.

 

Now, fifteen years after the start point of the war and the massive search for the Muse, the Lower World’s cities began to crumble to poverty and the rulership of the Ambassador of Alaz, Lord Daneus.

 

To aid the King and the search of the Muse, a young man and his friends are sent down to collect the person known as the “Muse”. But a horrible future and truth awaits the heros.

 

Can the young heros save the worlds in time before its too late?

 

 

 

Edited November 27, 2010 by CrimsonInferno

[Arkbennett 16]

Not bad. And yeah, that is better. But some parts of it seem awkward and run on. But that might be just my warped perception of the English language kicking in.

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Hm, I'll use it for now, but I'll keep editing it xD Which parts sounded weird?

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Sorry for the double post! But....!

 

I'm getting close to a short demo everyone! I was wondering if anyone (You guys maybe? : Rgangsta, Enigma or someone else?) wants to BETA test it? I'll need to know about errors, grammar mistakes, mapping problems, mapping uglies and bad dialogue. As soon as I finish the next town and set up the battle states and such to a good point (which I don't know how to do), the first demo release will be out! :3

 

If you guys do, PM me with your "I know grammar, can spot it with an eagle eye/orwhateveryoudliketoreport" and I'll check ya out!

 

EDIT:

Testers:

1: Arkbennett

2

3 *?*

Edited November 26, 2010 by CrimsonInferno

[CrimsonInferno 35]

Update! Thought I should show everyone the first look at the first town you get to!

 

It needs lots of edits on the higher house, if I keep it...

 

Its supposed to be a really small town, south of a bigger one.

 

I'm really close to BETA now, but I'm not sure how long a first demo should be...I don't want people to only play ten minutes, that would be weird!

 

What do you guys think? How long? 10-15 minutes?