Decadenttia 2 Report post Posted December 5, 2010 For the last 4 years I’ve been working in a cultural company store that sells stationery, books and some toys. I work specifically at the stationery part. One day I started to wrote some anecdotes and I want to share with you some of them. I just picked the ones I can translate. Unfortunately the rest are spanish grammar play on words and they can’t be translated. But here I go. People’s request at a Stationery: Gardening tools Household items Pumice stone (is like a natural file, to soften feet’s skin toughness). Firecrackers Grocer boxes Faucets Door knobs 10 ampere fuses Thermometers Pastry bag Strip lights Hangers Sparklers Wire Sleeping bags Canned tuna Cement Lifejackets People requests at toys area: Erotic games Playboy stickers Misspelled Requests (epic fails): “Postings” (“Post it” stickers) “Javelin Parker” (HP inkjet cartridge) “ number 22 PH cartridge” (HP inkjet cartridge) “Herby Packat” (HP inkjet cartridge) “MS-DOS videogames” (NDS videogames) “Glue-tack” (Blu-tack) “Blue-teik” (Blu-tack) “Bob Marley Fixative” (a Spanish fixative called MANLEY) “The picture of Alan Grains” (..yes, the picture of Dorian Gray) “The watchman of the barley” (“The Catcher in the Rye”, by Salinger) “butter eraser rubber” (a special eraser rubber for charcoal drawing called “bread rubber”). “A physic calculator” (a scientific calculator.) Inexplicable Requests: “internet curriculum vitae” (A man totally obsessed about buying one of these..) “rags for paintbrush cleaning” (Are you telling me you’d pay for this??) “Something for producing smoke” “Yes.. this white ting for the tv….. you know.. the white…” (We still don’t know what could this be..) “Not-anti-inadhesive stickers” (I feel so sorry but we laughed so much..) “For children, toxic piece of chalk. Be sure is toxic. Is for my grandson.” (of course, she wanted the non-toxic ones.) “A pen that only works on paper” “A yellow pencil that writes in yellow color.. but is not a colored pencil, it’s not for drawing .. is for writing…. but it writes in yellow color” Absurd / funny conversations: Customer- Are you the bookstore shop assistant? Me- No, sorry, I’m the stationery assistant. Are you looking for a children book or an adult book? Customer- I need a pen. Customer- Good morning, I’m looking for a textbook. Me- Good morning. I’m sorry this is the stationery, you’ll find textbooks at the other shop, just in front of us. That’s the bookstore. Customer looking fixedly at me – Which bookstore? Where is it? I don’t see any bookstore!! A customer leaves a children dvd at my info desk, almost throwing it to me. Me- Sorry, for paying this dvd you’ll have to go at cashdesk, just right there, at the store exit. Customer: What?? I must go THERE to leave??? (Well.. in case you want to go back home I’m afraid you’ll MUST exit this place, yes.) Customer- I’m looking for a book. I don’t know its tittle.. but the book is blue and a children dies in the story! Customer- I need a book for my son. He doesn’t like books. Customer- this staples don’t fit in my stapler. I look the stapler.. I look the staples. Maybe she bought the wrong ones and they are too small or too big. Then I think “it can’t be.. it can’t be”. I simply grab a staple set , separate it from the next staple set and fit it in the stapler. The customer looks at me with amazement. I try not to laugh. Customer – I can pay my shopping at your desk, right? Me- I’m sorry but this is not a cash desk. You can pay just there, at your right. This desk is only for assistance. Customer- Yes, I know. I’m a regular customer here. Customer- How much is this note-book? Me- I think it has a sticker with the prize (I don’t mind telling prizes I just mean told her she can saw the prize by her own right in front from her eyes) Customer- Don’t worry, I’m sure he didn’t like it.. A lady looking at the pencils shelves: Where are the pencils?? While I’m doing a little cleaning, I find a granny leaning out a shelf. She embarrasses and her face turns red. Then she tells me in a low voice: “I’m not doing anything wrong, sweety. Is just I saw a couple of friends but I don’t wanna they to meet me. He he…” At the same shelf, a customer looks for a sexuality book while another customer is looking for a Bible. Customer- Excuse me.. about that game here.. Me- Can I help you? Customer- This game is called “Vowel”.. Is about vowels? A E I O U? Me- er.. yes. Customer- Excuse me, is this a library? Workmate- No I’m sorry. This is a bookstore. Customer- So I can’t borrow anything without paying? Workmate- That’s it. Customer- So I MUST pay a book for taking it away to home? Workmate- Yes. Customer- So this is NOT a library? Customer- Do you sell clay? Me- Yes, it’s right here. Customer- Wich is the clay that you can model it? Me – All of them. Friday, eleven o’clock. The shop is full of customers, is one of the most busy days in the month. Customer- Excuse me, the shop is open? The phone rings. I pick it up. Me – “place where I work” good morning, can I help you? Customer at the phone, shouting: I’M AT THE DAMN PHONE, MOMMA!!! We sell more than 100 different greeting cards. One day a customer approaches me in a bad mood. Customer- Hey! You sell also this cards? Me- well.. yes. Customer- But some of them are blank. This means I MUST write on them?? ME?? WHY don’t YOU write a text in them??? Customer- Excuse me, do you have the key for this locked showcase? Hope you enjoyed them. :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbound 4 Report post Posted December 5, 2010 “MS-DOS videogames” (NDS videogames) that.... just made my day :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nanou-gr 5 Report post Posted December 5, 2010 hahaha! poor you...:) i bet you had so many bad days...:) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
