Looking for suggestions!

[Shalaren Metropolis 0]

ok so I do not know if its the right place to ask for help, so Ill just go with it o-o

Im writing a Background story for my game, and this story I have here isnt written well and is not long enough, I mean I dont have enough in it and I am just looking for any suggestions and help in improving it, In things if I left an open ending to things or something isnt explained well, Thanks in advance!

Shalaren is known to be the strongest magician in history, as he was the only magician that could use his life as pure energy to close the gates of the underworld, which were opened mysteriously that is.

 

In a world of magic that happens to forbid magic there is an opposite world known to be as the place for the damned, a place that should be holding these cursed souls known to be demons, and there shouldn’t be a way that exists to walk through both of these worlds, the one you were born in, is the one you are to stay, that was at least what the civilians believed.

 

Magic is to be sealed away from the individual the moment he is to be born, Magic isn’t learned, it comes in blood, it comes in many different (Lmao I forgot the word! ><” Shapes?). Those who caused magic to become forbidden are those who used magic for the wrong reason. Magic used to be a way of life, a way that has made living much easier, Traveling was faster, things could get done quicker and even more efficiently, but eventually it became dangerous as some have learned to use their powers for a bad purpose, and so the strongest of magicians have used their powers to create a seal upon all magic.

 

A seal so strong that can be used on every born child, a seal that is to exist for many years.

Only makes some people wonder, what could possibly go wrong with such a powerful seal as that?

 

One day a strange dimensional gate appeared in the middle of the sky, dark figures begun to come out of the gate, landing on the earth like meteors that destroy everything around them, these dark figures were soon to be recognized as demons. Crushing earth and killing millions as more and more demons appear to come out of the gate, while underground seven Civilians were hiding from the dark creatures, secretly one of the seven civilians was a one who should have his powers sealed away from him, but appears to not as he casted a spell upon the others to make them unnoticeable by the demons.

 

The others should be scared of him, a criminal who has broken the rules, but instead they looked at him as their saviour, as their only chance to survive. The civilian seemed to know what has caused the gates to open and knew what to do, He told the others that there was a simple spell to force the gates to close, The others wondered that if so, why haven’t anyone used it yet? None was even planning to use that spell due to its requirements.

 

Six civilians standing in a circle with The civillian inside casting the spell “To stop the murdering Knife, I agree to give away my life, as I turn into energy of pure protection, I will fight to heal and cure this Infection”

The spell turns the users body into energy that will force the gates to close, but if the spells fails, the user will fade away as the gates stay open. The spell almost took over Civilian, Made him very weak and just when he was about to faint and fall, the six others Held him to support the spell, The last the said civilian said before he was gone, is his name, “Shalaren”.

 

As Shalaren turned into pure energy he made the earth lose a touch with gravity, surrounded the gate and forced every demon to go back inside. It took three days for Shalaren’s energy to finally close the gate, leaving a mix of shalaren’s energy and the underworlds energy up high the sky as the six civilians are still alive, but rather different. These civilians were gifted with extraordinary powers in which they used to recreate the society, searching for the few survivors and to build a new metropolis, a metropolis in which is named after the magician that has given his life to protect, Shalaren Metropolis was then made. And the six civilians called themselves, The Six Saints.

 

A strange mark was left in the sky after closing of the gate, and shalaren’s energy was starting to wear off and the six saints knew they had to do something in order to prevent the gate from opening again, and so performed a spell to seal the gate and shalaren’s energy inside a tree, a tree located in the center of the metropolis in order to protect it, and the six saints sealed away their powers as well in order to protect the metropolis from themselves, and the only way of reaching what inside is by naming all of the six saints, but the names are unknown. However, one of them had decided that in case magic is ever needed again, the enchantment for release of the powers should be recorded. And so, being a close friend of the king, he inscribed it on the crown, which he knew is passed down through successive kings.

Edited May 5, 2011 by Shalaren Metropolis