Calvinchun 3 Report post Posted March 14, 2012 (edited) This is a poem that my friend give me yesterday. It tell us not to polute river. ENJOYS!! The river's a wanderer. A nomad, A tramp, He does not choose, one place to camp. The river's a singer. He dances along, The echoes do linger, to notes of his song. The river's a baby. He gurgles and hums, Sounding like happy, Suckling on fingers of mum. The river's a beast. He's hungry and vexed, trees his feast, And you're the next. Guys if the word is harsh tell me.. XD I change the words. Edited March 14, 2012 by Calvinchun Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jon Bon 43 Report post Posted March 14, 2012 I'll be honest with you, it's 'ok', I think you made a few mistakes with translation, but thats okay, and understandable. I think the pacing/rhythm was a bit off too, I had a hard time reading it. I did change it, but I would never dream of telling you it's better this way. The river's a wanderer. A nomad, A tramp, He does not choose, one place to camp. The river's a singer. He dances along, The echoes do linger, to notes of his song. The river's a baby. He gurgles and hums, Sounding like happy, Suckling on fingers of mum. The river's a beast. He's hungry and vexed, trees his feast, And you're the next. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvinchun 3 Report post Posted March 14, 2012 Woah yeah!! I made a mistake in the poem "Little" And jon, i can't access spoiler after i click nothing happen... Is there any way to fix that? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jon Bon 43 Report post Posted March 14, 2012 Wow, hmmm, I really do not know about that one. I will see if I can get it solved for you if no one else can post it here. I will get rid of the spoilers. I just didn't want it to be a focus. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvinchun 3 Report post Posted March 14, 2012 WOW you are right!! I like the new poem translation!! i change the original one, if you don't mind? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jon Bon 43 Report post Posted March 14, 2012 I do not mind at all. I tried to keep as much of the original meaning as possible, as far as I am concerned it's still your poem. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
