Tosharu

BOT BOT BOT BOT BOT BOT HUMAN! LOL Human definitely. But possibly a little robotic on the inside :/ who knows. ^^

m Every now and again, I end up over thinking. Then, I have some kind of a mental crash and for a few days afterwards it's like I just can't think. Words don't come out clearly in my mind and everything is garbled or sometimes it feels like I am fighting in my mind to be capable of comprehending anything. The concept is there, and I understand what's going on around me. I can react to things just fine but what'll happen is I will go to talk and it's like my mind freezes up and the words don't come out or I seem to suddenly feel the urge to stop talking, or thinking, and isolate myself from all the stimulation around me. Sometimes I'm even dependent on music to be able to think at all or have any kind of clarity over my environment. It's like.. I am dumbfounded and then the minute I start listening to a song I'm able to think again... if I go too long without listening to music and drowning out the world around me (A few days to a week) I end up in just a tangle of knots and I can't think. I haven't been able to figure this out it's a pretty regular problem I face. Any ideas or advice would be helpful.

Your welcome ^_^ aaaaand if you want to chat, I'm pretty well going to be here alot so. :P

HEY EVERYONE :lol: I'm so totally joining this forum. Eeps... I didn't see this sub forum before so I posted a bunch of stuff and I didn't even give an introduction. Anyways. I'm Tosharu, nice to meet you all (or atleast I'd hope it is nice for you) I'm a hobbyist programmer, and I love eventing in rpg maker xp. Recently I've been getting into map design to. I can also do tileset configuration and a bunch of other things. Graphics are not really my forte' but I can use paint pretty good (When needed) I drew my avatar myself ^_^ I like anime, art, I draw casually, but I prefer digital art. it's so much easier to work with. I find paper cluttery.. and frustrating. I have a different kind of mind set... *sits down in a corner and leans against the wall* but I'm here if anyone wants to chat. IF You need any kind of help with eventing, ask me. I know ALOT about events.

m I have some useful advice. Last year I finished my English 12. My english 12 teacher was one of the BEST academic role models I ever had. A good thing to review is your sentence structure, and paragraph structure. Me and my english teacher did tons of essay writing practice and exercise, and she taught me how to format my paragraphs so they weren't overly repetitive. You should start with a topic paragraph. Briefly skim the topic, and give some basic information. The next paragraph should be an entry paragraph, the beggining of the topic, the goal of which being to give one point. And expand on it. The one after that should be your second point. The third one, your third point and your third paragraph needs to transition to your summary paragraph smoothly. Your summary paragraph should re state everything you've written in point form and remind the reader of the topics you covered, while summarizing for them, the generality behind your main topic, of which you've expanded on. And, a general rule of them is to make your paragraphs very convincing. Use a rich vocabulary, and your sentence structure should be one that draws the reader in, progressively so that by the time they are reading the second paragraph, you have them hooked on your writing. ^^ Hopefully that helps.

Ouch! That must REALLY suck.. I mean. I understand overbearing parents, and I can totally relate to all of what your saying. My mother is a christian, and I had one hell of a time battling with her for control over my life when I began getting older. ...as for the other stuff. I can also relate. But I won't go into detail. I'm generally viewed by everyone I know as "odd" and "strange" My advice to you, is that you could use a friend who can understand. and if your 21 you are technically legal age. I understand the fear of being "dis owned", or "abandoned". Damn those hardcore narrow minded christians... btw, when I say I understand, I really DO. Feel free to chat with me. anytime. I'll be around.

Never had a problem with girls in hs. I just kind of...didn't care. lol. I was MORE interested in learning in class than girls. That's not to say the interest wasn't there. >.> I just pretended it wasn't and got by with my course work.

That's just...no words. Wow.. It stirs so much. The concept is more scary than the actuality. all I could think is "oh god I'd hate to be stuck alone on a planet, with only so much oxygen to live, and only so much time.." the experience of dying on a planet alone like that would be scary. that astronaut must have been on some serious drugs or something... gawd. nevermind the person who made it LOL how would you even come up with that kinda thing >.<

I have a level 65 warrior. I live with two other people who play WoW. We all share the same internet connection on seperate computers. I have a 54.0 Mbps wireless reciever in my room on my pc. Which is a windows sp2 1.80 Ghz with 512 MB of Ram. WoW runs just fine on this pc with sometimes 15 fps, and roughly a 100 ms to 300 ms latency depending.. I don't play it that often but I get to hear about all the fun pvp issues from my friends. I can't say I've ever been addicted to WoW.. but every now and then I get a whim to play it. =p. I don't understand how people can be addicted to WoW because I don't see the fun in grinding, or doing several instances to get gear. I mean... it just seems like too much work to me. I like my console games. Nice replayability values, no subscription free, and no lag. <3

Guys and girls. If you COULD cos play, would you? I would <3

Durr.. cartoons? I like anime. I watch my anime online mostly. Because the channel selection here sucks. :/

m Huh.. sports. I like trying to jump over things. I like running, dashing, and attempting wall jumps and other such things. I guess it'd be something like parkour only I don't do anything really crazy. Because, I've never broken a bone in my life and I'd rather not risk it. >.> That, and limbs get so sore afterwards. I don't do that kind of thing as often as I used to when I was younger. Kind of miss it.. it's more fun with friends. I like to run, and I will foot race a person if they challenge me. No one really seems to be into that sort of thing though.. and my stamina isn't the best because I don't run everywhere like I used to.

m Interesting. So that's where numerology actually stems from (in a sense) My view of fate.. oh god. GREAT Example. Yesterday, I wanted to call up a friend who I haven't been able to REALLY talk to. My cousin was visiting me and I had already failed to contact my friend once. I lost my calling card. While looking for it, I had rage fitted and pretty well put a small dent in my wall. >.< That is SO coming out of my damage deposit later... Anyhow. Basically. All day that day, nothing was within my control. Every single thing I tried to do to be in control of what was happening to me or with me sort of failed. Until I calmed down. I still didn't manage to find my calling card. So, at 1 am in the morning with utter determination I looked for it. I found it. The will I had led me to find it. In a calm state. So, while still determined I went to use the phone. BUT WAIT THERES MORE! As it turns out, the phone wasn't on the charger it was dead and to boot the charger itself was UNPLUGGED!! So, I went to borrow my mom's phone. Turns out I couldn't find it I had no luck. So, FINALLY I say screw it and walk to a pay phone. (Yes a pay phone at 1 am in the morning to call this friend because my determination was driving me.) I GET to the payphone and dial up the calling card# and enter my pin. Yet... to my dismay. I get an automated message telling me "We're sorry, your calling card has not been activated. Please enter a different calling card pin #. Thank you--from Telus" I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Basically... that entire day I felt like reality was screwing with me... toying with me. But.. later I realized.. it wasn't toying with me. Whatever forces are really OUT There, they wanted me to learn a few lessons. I indeed did learn a few lessons. Anyways.. I couldn't even return the calling card because I didn't have my reciept and what's worse!! THE PURCHASE of my calling card didn't even show up on their computers!! When I payed for it right there the previous day, using my debit card. GO FIGURE!! And... HOW MYSTERIOUS IS THAT?? :unsure: So many forces out there messing with me u_u. Btw... I determine a force as "anything with movement or the ability to influence another force" whether it be physical or otherwise.. The odds were completely stacked against me. The moral? EVEN IF I Had found my calling card earlier that day... it would have been useless to me because it wasn't activated. My point? I was "fated" to not be able to use that specific calling card. There could have been another way around it, but I failed to find one. I ended up buying a brand new one.. just to compensate. *sigh*

Luckily! We have something called sleep deprivation, caffiene, and alarm clocks!! Along with annoying relatives or friends.. <--Doesn't get much sleep these days.

I can cook eggs, four ways! Soft boiled, hard boiled, sunny side up or scrambled. I can cook decent omlettes. And just the other day I learned how to properly cook blueberry pancakes from "Just add water" pancake mix. I can bake just fine if I have the instructions and all the proper ingredients. I can cook chicken, and spaghetti. I can cook pork chops, bacon, I can cook rice meals, and chilli . I can make good home made chicken soup to. My main stay foods usually involve eggs. I can cook great grilled cheese sandwhiches (yay for frying pan) And, well since I can cook eggs I like to mix it up and make egg wraps. Or you know.. Cooking is basically all chemistry. If you use the right ingredients along with the right spices.. you can make really GOOD food. My reccomendation to anyone cooking meat, is a little sprinkle of black pepper, salt and garlic on all meat that's fried if it's cooked stand alone first before being added with a meal. Ground beef is a good example of what to put black pepper garlic and salt on. I'm not THE BEST at cooking, I listed above all the "base" things I am able to cook. Unless of course I include making oatmeal (cooking it in a pot) OH yeah, Kraft Dinner. Noodles (From a pack) >.> But those are straightforeward simple things in my mind. Basically I can cook anything I want if I am shown the first time how to do it. (well.. some exceptions there. I'm not going to go and make a delicacy dish) FOOD! <3

Hobbies and interests? Well, let's keep it simple. I love video game music. Being online, instant messaging. Spending quality time with people I care about. Nerding it up on Sonic Adventure 2 battle. Taking pics of myself and sending them to random people to see if they gawk at my 'cuteness'. I enjoy being odd, and strange. I collect classic videogames and consoles. I want to get into hardware modding, or at the very least some custom assembly stuff for the original gameboy or for the nes. I like traditional linear programming, and I like pushing hardware to it's maximum capacity. I enjoy swimming (sometimes), leisurely swimming nothing too gruelling. *pant* I love nature and I love looking at nature. I meditate, and I try to connect more with my inner self. I like thinking deeply, getting new ideas and I like hearing about other people's experiences. I TALK TO SENIORS!! YES I DO Because... they know alot! That's right.. erm... >.> I love classic gaming and emulation. Yes I play World of warcraft as well. I have a level 65 warrior. I enjoy writing (sometimes though haven't written much been thinking about it). And I like to go into altered states of conciousness, experiment with my mind, experience lucid dreaming. I enjoy mental activities more than I enjoy exercise. I like to cook things (depending on what it is. ) aaand I like to bug people who smoke about how it's bad for them. I read factual books every time I have the focus to do so. I enjoy study how people react to things, and how I react to things, and then take notes and compare... and maybe try to do things differently some days. MOST IMPORTANTLY!!! most imp ortantly I love anime. I AM A PEPSI DRINKER! Hear me BURP! <3

My apologies to anyone ahead of time if my post seems to be overly controversial The truth of life that I have found is that reality and fantasy are a very fine and gray line. There are many things that we (as a whole race) have been able to create and develop through several years of hard work, labor, research, and practice. Computers science is a great example of how something came to be from what seemingly was nothing. Silicon chips, and a processing architecture which eventually and ultimately led up to things like WOW, media streams online, instant messengers, online forums, and the ability to have a live web cam chat with anyone from anywhere in the world. And all through a pile of wires, metal, and glass electrical diodes. I would have to say that the micro chip, in and of itself was the next greatest invention to the wheel. But think of all the havock micro chips have and can cause as well! Such as the way they are used in military warfare. It's now possible for a military force to drop bombs, all from a remote control safe from real harm. Real consequence. Sattelite up links, allow fast tracing of anything connected to the uplink, in real time, across the globe. The world has become a much smaller place because of this creation.

The way I see it. We all have choices, and we all have external conflicts and inner conflicts. Sometimes, we are faced with choices that we ourselves don't feel qualified to even make, but we are pressed to either by society or by the immediacy of the situation we are facing. A neutral answer just won't do in many cases, or we are pressured into choosing something NOW. Often times the rush of having to make a decision will leave a person with little to no time to REALLY think things through. When this happens, we tend to make rash judgements about our situation, environment, or others around us or even ourselves that may not be wholly acurate. Then a person will think back and wonder what could have or would have been had they done things just a little differently. For me personally there's always that little "what if" whispering in my mind and it makes things difficult to see clearly what the road ahead will be like for me if I make a choice. We are all human, and at base like it or not we still have instincts and emotions and many times over we will make a choice based on our emotions or how we feel something impacts us personally. Even if we are relating our emotions to another person it always comes back to looking at our own views of life and the world. An example of this would be that you have a family member who's invited you to an important family event. They say that it is the most important thing and they don't want you to miss it. Then, your boss from work or teacher calls you the same day and gives you an opportunity of a lifetime to expand your career. They say that if you don't take it now, they'll have to get somone else to do it and you could lose out. So which will you participate in? Both events take place on the same date. And you can't be in two places at once and there's no way you can do both. What's more important? That family member, or this "big chance". Let's say that if you didn't take this opportunity, everyone in your work/school environment that you work with would look down on you. How would you feel making a choice like this? Conflicted, I'm sure. Anyways the point of it is that no matter how much you empathize or sympathize with somone else, it always comes back down to a root. The "I" in Life. What a person feels or thinks of something or about something will determine how they react to it. I have experienced internal conflicts of this nature quite often in life, wondering... what if I had done this. Or "What would happen if I made this choice. " In the end ultimately.. it seems there are no real rules for making choices other than using your own judgement. Sure you can get advice from others, and input. My path has shown me already that taking advice from others can be VERY helpful if it is coming from the right people who are able to understand the situation clearly. So, in my honest and humble opinion I do not believe there is a real such thing as a right or wrong choice because human beings are conflicted creatures to begin with. Conflict is all around us and as we grow our environments influence us. The only right or wrong choice a person can make is defined by something very good or very bad coming out of it. Again though, the scope that we are able to see of how our actions impact ourselves and the situations around us are sparse. Say you are living with a relative who is not that well off. This relative of yours lives in a rural town with no real business or growth opportunities. No education facilities, no real transport other than a personal vehicle. Worse of all, the only food source available is a market place that gets their food imported from a town 800 kilometres away in a delivery truck. Everything is serviced through import. The only boom is a hard to get into industry that is already dying out. Let's say... oil drilling, and let's just assume for the record that you personally aren't fit or qualified for this kind of work. The benefit is that this relative is housing you, providing for you, and allowing you to stay there no charge. The area is quiet, nice, but rural and very sparse with a low population. Now, let's say that you wanted to move out so you could expand because the slow lifestyle of a rural town wasn't working for you. However, you are the only one in the family who can live with this relative. If you left, they would be lonely. Possibly sad. Their days would be filled with reminisce of times already past and gone. Possibly their very soul crushed at the thought of you leaving. Let's assume this relative also can not leave or live in another area. What do you do? If you stay there you won't really get anywhere you'll just repeat the same story every day. Do a little bit of farm work, run errands. Check mail, drink tea, chat, watch some movies. Possibly go swimming in a lake or a creek. Then go to bed. However, if you leave. Their very soul will be crushed at the mere thought of it, led alone the actual act. Is it right or wrong to make either of these choices? My point is that your choice will still be based on how you feel. How would the thought of this situation effect your emotion? If you moved away, would you think about this relative later or worry about how they are doing? Would you feel bad? Would feeling bad be something you couldn't live with, so much that you sacrificed your own needs and desires to stay with them? Anyway, that's my two cents. And a half. :P Happy contemplating.