Jon Bon

All the things being mentioned here are pretty cosmetic, and I agree with all of them. But I mean I if I were you Rkofranklin I wouldn't even worry about fixing any of those things until the game is done from start to end. That way you can just go over the game with a 'detail brush', which make more sense. The reason to go in houses is totally good feedback though, and very valid, don't forget to add that. I think because your game is in the earlier stages you have likely already planned to make the cosmetic changes people are mentioning, but maybe not, so it's great they are. In any case because the game is still in development I think when posting a demo asking for a certain type of feedback might help. Not everyone builds a game using the same method or in the same order as me, so I don't know what kind of feedback you are looking for. If you wanted I would have totally wrote down everything I noticed while I was playing, but since it said demo I assumed you just wanted opinions on the story and overall concept of the game, worrying about the finer things when testing time comes. I tend to hold back, because if people want generic feedback, a giant 3 page bug list might not be constructive, on the other hand if the story is a place holder, they might want bug feedback for building their engine. I hate to overwhelm people and pick something apart that may not need it yet, no one has done that here, but I was wondering what kind of feedback you need so I can maybe go through again and give you more helpful insight.

I actually saw the banner ad in your signature before this post and had checked it out. I think that is a really good idea, a site like yours can help focus on that kind of a discussion. Need more places dedicated to that kind of thing, that way people can learn more about the different types of games and what came before. Just make sure it stays a friendly place, as that is what's wrong with most of the forum communities out there in general. I do chat about videos games with my friends, just am not much of an internet social type person. Although I could see myself chatting it up there, only if I had more free time, I really don't frequent forums. But I would recommend checking it out to anyone that likes to chat about video games. I learn allot of what I know from listening and talking to others then going to research it on my own.

I think yeah, if you can get all the functions into drop down category boxes up top, that's likely the most efficient method. A live view would likely help.

Read post 8 in this thread, and the posts before hand it relates to, and the post afterwards the person in question replied after looking into it more. Your comment was already addressed in this thread. No need to reply to me, or address this issue in this thread anymore. If this concerns anyone start a separate thread.

'nerd' vs 'geek' I am definitely not a sports ner...er geek, but I love recreational sports. A game of baseball or American football is always fun. Even ultimate Frisbee or volley ball when on the beach.

I see. The sentence is misleading because you speak about the elven kingdom and use a comma to go into listing the characters who each have an origin, mountain man, unnamed village, but the princess has none. So I made the assumption she was with the elf kingdom as the sentence implies. No worries. I think if the elves are going to be evil/against the humans then making at least one elf sympathizer or maybe a whole village/group of them, and then a playable character too as an elf, may be a good idea. Seems appropriate, not all elves would agree. Either way I like where the story is going.

No, I totaly got the whole nick name thing. What I meant is Elves don't really use nick names 'traditionally' in elf lore(can't believe I said that), and I thought that if you made her be interested in human life it would help explain her desire for the nick name as we humans do use them. If you wanted her to be not interested in the elegant life style too, I would maybe make it so that all humans(except a remote hidden kingdom) live with a poor quality of life compared to the elves. She can then either pity or feel empathy or interest for the humans, and there for go by the nick name. I love Final Fantasy and it was my introduction into rpg's in general. I think that because you love it to you have so many unique ideas likely ready to come out you could stand on your own without another license. I still stand by the thought to make this a stand alone, and maybe borrow elements from their series rather then put it directly into the universe. I would read this book if it was a synopsis on the back of a book (obviously it would be written professionally, but the content would be the same). It's captivating, but maybe it's just because I like human elf wars. She, is an awesome character I can't say much without spoilers. I would suggest to play through FF5 and FF6 for research into the older style of the FF series. FF5 has an awesome job class system, and will give you plenty of ideas for skills and abilites and such from the universe, it also deals directly with a 4 crystal system. FF6 has a in depth and captivating story that the basic plot is similar to FF7. It also has I believe 18+ playable characters, each one loosely based on a job from FF5. I would say maybe get a guide and play through normal, but when you get stuck, just guide it instead of normal rpg search etc, so you can cut down play time. Should only take you 120 hours or so combined in playtime for both games. I think it would give you excellent insight in the classic style FF. Yeah that would definitely give it the right feel. FF6 has a whole moogle vilage, and one of the playable characters is a moogle, and is the only one to speak in that world. I like all your ideas for cameos, I would probably not include any main characters, but that's me. Yup, totally just ideas. Anything I pitch at you is just an idea, a take it or leave it scenario type thing. Just sharing what I would do if I were making this, and what my opinions are on it. From what you are starting with if you follow through it should be entertaining enough. I try to give feedback whenever I can, I don't always have something to add, luckily here I do.

I really like what you have so far for the story, I like the 'Mady' elf name, I think as a small side story element you could make her interested in human culture, or even secretly part human, and give reason for the 'Mady' nick name, as it sounds kind of human but I like it. With what you have for your story I think you could really just make this a unique title and not need to include the Final Fantasy cameo aspects of it at all. I really thing this story could stand on it's own without the need of a pre-existing universe, something to thing about, drop the FF stuff and make it your own. In any case, that's not really what you wanted feedback on, and as a huge fan of Final Fantasy playing every game as it came out, I would love to give you some insight. If you want your game to be in the Final Fantasy continuum so to speak, then in my opinion I think you might get better fan reception by including secondary characters from the other games rather then the more predominant ones. From my experience playing the series, I can tell you who my favorite secondary characters were, and why, for consideration to include them instead. Crisis Core -Tseng, He's not really evil, and was good friends with Zack, read into him a bit. He would be an excellent addition, an older wiser, resistance fighter Tseng, totally character appropriate. FF7 - Marlene, Barret's surrogate daughter, grown up and also a resistance fighter. FFX - Rikku, Excellent character class, and all around great favorite of mine FF4(US 2) - Rydia, No question one of the coolest characters, this game is one of my top three favorite for Final Fantasy FF 6(US 3) - Celes, Magitek infused knight, by far my favorite character from that game, also on my top three fave list of FF series. Sounds good so far. If you do make it a Final Fantasy universe game, what elements would you add to make it feel final fantasy, other then the side view battle system? May I suggest the elemental crystals, maybe work on some play on those, as they have not included them in their series after the snes days, and it would be cool to see it back since your style will be similar. I have tons of Final Fantasy knowledge from 1 up to 9, so if you ever need feedback into the universe I would love to help anyway I can. Your story stuff seems good, keep it up.

I agree with big ace and Eco, Takentai is probably your best choice to start looking into. As far as grammar and spelling go, I suggest either grabbing the internet browser Firefox because it has a built in spell checker, or you could look into add-ons/extensions for your current internet browser to add a spell checker to it. Spelling and grammar go a long way when people read what you wrote, and yours wasn't too bad, as I suspect you do not speak English as your first language, but with a simple spell check you could catch a lot of your mistakes. And hey, don't worry about making mistakes or being new here it's ok, we are here to help you anyway we can.

The best way to look at it is, we have signed Eco as a development team leader and agreed to publish the games he and the people agreed to help him want to make. If this concerns anyone who has joined his team, let me assure you nothing has changed for him or his Soft Blue direction goals, and we have not taken any creative control over his product ideas now or in the future. If anyone wants to look into our mission statement and what we are all about, feel free to check that out here. http://boninkcreations.forumotion.ca/t26-bon-ink-creations-mission-statement I personally am happy to have each of the people agreed to work with Eco on board as team members for his creations through us. I look forward to working with everyone involved.

Foreword This is written in a general aspect, and does not pertain to our community here, but to the independent development process in general. I wrote this with the intent to show the reasoning behind why independent developers need a special type of feedback versus commercial developers. As well as why we as fans should start looking more towards independent developers to try and make better more innovative games with our help. Introduction Too often I see posts from new developers or teams with such negative and critical feedback with no constructive criticism in sight. That type of feedback is not helpful to any development process, commercial or independent, because creative people need to know why you don't like their product. Maybe if explained well enough they will agree and make every effort to change it. Even further, if you are able to propose a solution or alternate method to the problem they are even more likely to listen and see it as necessary. This in turn allows other gamers to see what you think and either agree or disagree. This is what constructive criticism is. The 'This Sucks' Method This is what I deem the method used by short sighted commentators. On a scale of 1 - 10 of helpfulness this method is the one. The reason this method is so unhelpful is because there is nothing beneficial to the statement other then the fact that someone obviously dislikes your product. Without reasoning for the comment there is no way to know if it's a just or founded comment and not some person having a bad day. On top of that, without reason there is no way for the developer to know what they can change to fix the problem if it is in fact just/founded. How To Fix The Problem Here are a few things you can use to think about when criticizing someones work, in order of my perceived importance; WHY? Why didn't you like what they are showing you. Give specifics, about your dislikes in any way you can. WHAT? What could they have done, or can they still do to make it better. Hindsight is 20/20 but can still help prevent repeat mistakes of problems if not correct them immediately. WHERE? Where was the problem you were having. Be specific as to the surroundings of the issue, was it only a certain aspect or the whole thing that has issues. WHO? Who are you? What kind of consumer are you that makes your opinions so relevant. Justify your opinion with quick examples of past experience with similar products to the one you are commenting about. Prove you have valuable insight and they are even more likely to take it under advisement. WHEN? When should you give your opinion? Whenever something you use offer's a section for it and you have one. Even if you are just happy with the product. An overall glowing review can go a long way for someone making something. Constructive criticism can also help immensely to catch mistakes early in the creation process which is crucial. Judge Accordingly If a commercial company released a game equivalent to Mario 3 for NES in every way, I would be disappointed. If an independent developer achieved the same feat I would be greatly impressed. Can you see the difference? Professionals are just that, educated in their field through years of proven training techniques (post secondary school). Independent developers are often people who pursue or pursued it as a hobby and don't have the proper background in training and skill as the commercial people do. For this reason you can not grade them on the same scale as a commercial company. If someone has been developing for 3 months and presents their game for input, as long as it doesn't crash all the time, you can't walk through the walls, and there is even a basic story, and characters, that should be super impressive to anyone. Independent developers are achieving what whole teams of dozens of people needed years to make 15+ years ago, by themselves in a matter of only months. Then people go ahead and rip them down about it. I think when this happens they don't truly realize the passion, commitment and persistence that video game development takes. Creating a video game is an art form as far as I am concerned and the creation process needs to be respected as such. Why Help Indy Developers So Much Over Commercial? Because independent developers are almost always doing it for free if not a small fraction of the pay that the commercial companies are. Additionally independent developers tend to strive to create the best product they can and be as innovative as possible. For these reasons they need your help in giving them the best most friendly constructive criticism you can give them. Let's stop the forceful release of $60 commercial games as a flat fee. Some Independent developers are making games better then full price commercial releases, and for free. A $60 game should earn that price, not be a clone of the last engine with new trinkets, or a sticker price justified by licensing rights (Disney, etc.). Games should earn their sticker price, like the Elder Scrolls , or Fallout series, of which in my opinion justify $60. Independent developers are starting to put work into their games that surpass lesser titles on the 'new release' commercial market, games that go from $60 to $15 in three months, which should have been the original price to begin with. Let's back the people who want to make games worth $15 but are already doing it for free. Conclusion We need to rate independent developers on their experience and past achievements, not compared to what the commercial people are releasing. Let's help the independent developer get the feedback and direction they need to release the hold of greedy corporate businesspeople on the video game market direction. Put an end to cookie cutter video game release, funding only 'proven game dynamics' and support the outside the box thinkers. People who do it for free or next to nothing and gladly, just to give you a quality product they can be proud of and you can enjoy.

Graphic design could be literally anything. But in a general sense, it's things like logo's, banners, and promotional graphic stuff. You have to remember that an artist or programmer can have literally a potential dozens upon dozens of speacialties. It's always best to specify what kind of talent you need. A programmer, could know html, and java, but not C++, or ruby. A graphical artist could know how to do pixels, but not polygons or cell shading. A writer could be able to do poems and songs, but not traditional stories, etc. It's always good to remember that each talent field related to video games has tons of specific categories one can focus on.

I definitely agree with your logic Kell, I find it hard to ever argue with your logic to be honest. In any case I think there would be a happy medium of opacity where the bar itself and the content behind it would both be viewable in a non confusing manner? Like the ability to see 10% behind it, because it is auto dedicating your screen to something, and you should technically have that space as viewer space. I just think it's best to consider all users. I of course have a massive screen for my computer, but not everyone does. That bar could potentially make up 1/10-1/20th of someones viewing space on a desktop or notebook, forcing them to scroll more often then they would normally. I think if it would be possible to make it transparent and still comprehensive, then why not? Couldn't there just be a tiny button on it that makes it more transparent? Keep it solid normally then just have a button that swaps it to 'faded mode'.

@ kell Well my dad's cat is raised similar to mine, like a dog, but to the extent his cat travels in a pack with his other dogs. That cat beheads bunnies and eviscerates them spreading their organs about. My cat does kill mice, but I never seen her drop a dead mouse in the house. I only ever find dead mouse, by the bedroom window if its cold and we close it, or if we have been gone for a while. I think she kills them by mistake trying to catch them. We have examined the bodies too, and found no marks most of the time so it's possible she plays with them until they die of fear. As far as wanting a friend, that is exactly what she is doing. She goes crazy if she doesn't get excise regularly, and I actually had to shave her hair down a bit because she was so hot from the summer. I think that has a lot to do with it too, she spent a few weeks inside 24/7 then I shaved her and she is outside all the time now. Heh, yeah I definitely need a cartoonist, I have lot's of strip ideas for sure. @Eco One time I was trying to catch a mouse and it kept dodging me, one of the times it didn't dodge at all, it actually jumped up, turned over and landed on it's back with all it's feet in the air completely motionless. I could have sworn it was playing dead.

Back Story So my female cat is this 20lb beast of a spayed x-momma cat. She is definitely technically obese, but can easily still jump higher then 4 feet, and is faster then you'd expect, and tough as an ox. I regularly exercise with her by bringing her outside and running around with string tied to a fake mouse, and throwing small pebbles across the lawn and driveway which she chases. Her weight is pretty much staying since they removed her uterus, which is apparently how they spayed a cat, but I bring her out to exercise as often as I can to keep her healthy. She is also an outdoor cat who spends 50%+ of the time there anyhow. Even though she is massive, and people swear she has been pregnant for 2 years straight, she still catches field mice on a regular basis. Somewhere near 1-3 a week in the spring and summer, 4 blocks from main street in a town with 56k population. She normally catches them, brings them through the window which stays open, and drops them into her box shaped bed, alive, for me to retrieve and release to safety. She then corrals around my legs as I return back in, squawking with caws of pleasure for herself, they are anything but meows. I bust out her wet food, and proceed to give her some. This is a regular routine of ours, and if you look into the history of cats, potentially dates back to England and shop keepers paying reward to local alley cats who would catch pesky mice getting into their wares. The Point of This Thread So my cat brings a mouse in, and 1/20 times I don't catch it right away and it's temporarily loose in the house. This time in particular I was playing video games and after three separate attempts within 45 minutes or so her and I gave up and let it go. I had last seen it near my bed room door, which has the open window in it, and remember being concerned it had gone in there, which they never have before. Flash forward 2 hours, I am sitting in my living room and hear *crinkle crinkle crinkle* from the bedroom, my cat looks up from the chair across the room and far from the bedroom door, I raise an eye brow. A few seconds pass, again *crinkle crinkle crinkle*, I get up from my couch which creaks and groans with the over 30 years of life it has had. I listen for the sound, while my cat perks up to hear better as well. Silence, my couch has betrayed my stealth. I enter my bedroom, turn on the light, look around quickly, nothing. Just as I am sitting back down on the couch in my living room, I hear; *crinkle crinkle crinkle* twice as loud as before. Third time is a charm for my cat, as she leaps from the chair and runs into the bedroom and turning the corner to the window before I am back out of my seat. I get up and go into the room and she is pointing like a retriever with her noise at a small cardboard box with crafting supplies in it, and a rolled up pieces of paper with a ping pong paddle face down sticking out of the top on the dresser a foot under the window ledge. I examine the box, left, right, up, down, no mouse. I remove some decorative figurines from in front of the box slowly, no mouse. I slowly pick the box up, and look behind it, no mouse. I think "Aha, i got you now!", lower the box from above my head (because I look under things like a cartoon character), and slowly remove the ping pong paddle and paper from the box and look inside pleased with myself until.... NO MOUSE?!? I put the paper and ping pong paddle back inside the box from my other hand, and return the box to near the ledge. I notice my cat has been watching me the whole time, and she immediately returns to the pointing position at the box after I put it back. I quickly think "What the @#$%?, I just checked there.", and as I go to turn away I double take and (someone probably sees this coming) where is the mouse? Frozen in fear or genius on the top of the handle of the upside down ping pong paddle literally facing me and my cat in perfect motionlessness. I chuckle at my tired brain, slowly but precisely reach forward and grab it's tail from behind him, and go out my front door to return him to the 'wilderness' he came from. I could just imagine watching this from a video camera. I am there with the box in my hands looking at it and the mouse is blending into the handle. I then hold it over my head to look under it, put it back in front me, remove the thing the mouse is on with my other hand, and end up returning everything back to normal. If it wasn't for Daisy (my cat), I almost definitely wouldn't have seen it. It felt very Tom and Jerry to me. Hope someone enjoyed my story.

I agree with the subtle transparency. Maybe mostly transparent if scrolling the window, then a perfect amount of slightly transparent when stopped so if necessary you can at least slightly see whats under the bar in case it's the information you need. It never occured to me it is dedicated screen space that does take away, and notebooks, and lap tops, and other smaller devices would appreciate being able to see under it as best as possible I imagine. Now that i think about it, add extra features like Kell suggested (probably ideally the stuff you plan to make but isnt done/ready yet), which I agree with, and then maybe have it have a 'hide' button, so users can hide the bar if they want, but since it has features there would be reason to unhide and also keep it up, not defeating it's purpose entirely? Just some thoughts. I think the transparency is a valid point non the less.

You could definitely be trained, and if were willing to dedicate the time, I would be willing to pay you some nominal for your efforts, plus the already promised rewards. If no one qualified applies I will give you serious consideration if you are truly interested.

I would be interested in absorbing your company into mine as a team with your current members. I have sent you an e-mail regarding more specifics.

I tried the live example, and I think that the top of the website should leave room for the top bar instead of fading the bar out. That way the bar is always visible, and the stuff that it would hide now, would be displayed beneath it when scrolled to the top.

BUMP This position is currently unfilled due to the first candidate needing to pursue other stuff with their free time. I would ask that anyone who applies look at this as something they will be doing for the next few months minimum. When money starts coming in you will be one of the first to get a kickback. I need someone who already has enough free time they are willing to dedicate to me without changing their mind. Thank you for your consideration, Jon Bon

Heck yes. Definitely like the story, I love the borrowed elements of human lore for the creation of the planet and such, very good mix and well thought out. Your names and places and event timeline are all actually pretty top notch. As you said it's 'unfinished' but I would be remiss if I didn't mention it was in need of heavy comprehension and grammar editing. But the content was very captivating. I was weary reading the multi gods at first, but when I started to read about them creating the planet, I started to get into it. The war background stuff with Klaus felt very 'Legendary Adventure's of Hercules, starring Kevin Sorbo' to me, in a very good way. I love that kind of mythic stuff, and I think you captured the story telling aspects of it very well in your background story. I am interested in seeing how the overall story plays out and how you do with your character dialogues. I definitely like what you have so far, keep it up, excellent foundation.

+1 rep, and real life karma. Good job on this, we need more people like you. Kudos on this and the other recent additions to this site by you, on behalf of the community thank you. I will definitely be using this and likely other scripts you have posted in future creations. I appreciate and admire your dedication to helping the independent developer.

Meh, second one is close, but could be insulting to people who come from places where everyone has 'sucky' lives, like poverty stricken areas where they aren't allowed to cross borders, and situations such as that. Also the sentence doesn't apply to anyone who is a victim of something, like abuse, it's kinda insulting to them actually. But I get what you were going for, and I agree. Remember to not reinvent the classics; -you made your bed now you have to lie in it -dug your own grave -be prepared to reap what you sow -becareful what you wish for Each one kinda applies to what you were going for, and are of course not quotes anymore, they are sayings, but all good quotes eventually become sayings over enough time. Keep up the good work.